One thing I love about the FJA conference is the Women’s Caucus. Women represent less than 6% of trial lawyers in America and women of color represent less than 1%. It’s really hard to be a female trial lawyer and it’s getting even harder.
This year at the meeting, the speaker talked about how she would search Pinterest for elaborate valentines for her kids to make up for the fact that she can’t actually be at the party. I’ve totally been there. For me, class valentines symbolized by worth as a mom. I pour so much time, energy and money into an elaborate themed tchotchkes for the kids in Henry’s class to prove to myself and others that I have the time to be a good mom. Why did valentines become the symbol of my worth as a parent? No idea. But I decided five years ago that it was and I realize just how ridiculous it is.
There is plenty of debate about whose job is harder – working moms or stay at home. What’s hard for working moms is that most of us cannot make it to the class parties and missing events that you only get to do a few times is incredibly disappointing. BUT it’s even more disappointing when you could be there (because you’re the boss), but you have to work for your paying clients, and staff.
Every mom feels differently, but I do not want to miss a moment.. not even the mundane stuff. My deepest struggle as a parent is that I have made a choice to work from 9-5 and therefore not be present for every little thing.
But from 5-11… I am in mom mode and when I am tying up some silly little valentine, or making some ridiculous sushi Rice Krispy treat dessert that I found on Pinterest, I feel like I am doing an OK job.