One of the biggest challenges that women face (in my opinion) is that there are a lot of women who tend to
be total fucking assholes create an unnecessary hostility between other women for no apparent reason.
In a head-to-head case – I consciously try to focus on the job. I’m not my client and neither is the opposing counsel. Whether that’s a man or a woman, I have a job to do and so do they. They can do the job well and so can I and there will be a (hopefully just) result. A job well done is success. Unfortunately, so many lawyers want a “win.” Either way – success and failure are mutually exclusive.
Particularly as a woman, I have to value a good job from another woman. If her client prevails, I strive to be content with my good work.
In a broader sense, seeing another woman get a great verdict, or wins an award, or gets a client … I make a conscious choice to be happy for her and never jealous. Her success is not my failure and I refuse to let myself give any deference to those feelings / that narrative.
Sometimes I do compare but part of my ability to avoid burnout and/or adding more stress and pressure, I choose to be happy for my female colleagues and appreciate the change we are making in our industry.